


A Tale of  A King And His Pickle

by underground_archivist



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-02-28
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underground_archivist/pseuds/underground_archivist
Summary: Jareth tries to open a pickle jar. Even a Goblin King can have trouble with the evil Kosher Pickle Jar.





	1. What does he want a pickle for?!

**Author's Note:**

> Note from banshee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Underground](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Underground_\(Labyrinth_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Underground’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/underground/profile).

  
Author's notes: I don't own Jareth and I don't own the pickles. I don't even like pickles, so there *sticks out tongue*. No money will be made off of this, ever.  


* * *

"D***** TO THE BOG!" Shouted the frustrated Goblin King as he huffed and puffed over the seemingly innocent jar. It mocked him, it's bright red lid claiming to be so easy to open. He sighed and grabbed a cloth from the groveling goblin that had been slouching near his boots for the last fifteen minutes that he'd spent trying to force the jar to bend to his will.

"What're tryin' ter do, Yer Highness?" Hoggle limped into the kitchens. He had just finished doing his usual rounds through the castle and the kitchen was one of his favorite spots to 'hang out' as Sarah had said to him once.

Jareth pouted as he glared at the stupid glass jar of pickles. "The d*** thing says it's supposed to be easy to open, but I've spent a quarter of an hour trying work the mother's top off."

Hoggle picked up said jar and easily twisted the lid off. Jareth watched in silence as the dwarf set the jar back down and took his seat next to the pot-bellied stove. "Whadda wan' wit pickles, Yer Highness?"

Jareth sniffed in disdain to cover his embarrassment. "That is none of your business, Hedgewort." And with that the King left so swiftly that the door cut off Hoggle's correction.


	2. The Reason Why

  
Author's notes:

NOTHING! *I wail like a dying cat* I own nothing and never will! 

*Hands on hips* Its not polite to stare at a crazy woman. Keep your eyes on the words, where they're supposed to be.

* * *

Jareth was deep within the bowels of his bedchambers and no one was allowed there, but even with no one around, he still made sure his door was locked and his window shades closed.

He lifted the top of his pants and dropped his aqquired pickle down and situated it. Turning around, he glanced in the mirror to study the effect. Satisfied, the Goblin King unlocked the door and pulled up the shades. Then he said the spell that would transport him to Sarah's room.


End file.
